lifes like this.

I dont know how to start this post. Sigh. A total let down though. Os was bad. I did pretty bad. I hate to be blamed at. Cmon, im a human too. Who doesnt? The fact that his mom is still pissed with me, idk if its true. Even if its so, maybe bcoz Im eligible fr poly but his not. Or maybe bcoz of some other stuffs. Idk but hell yeah. I cant accept that. Aunty has been good to me though, just because I ruined her son's future, what? Allah yang mengatur ini semua. Not that I choose my life to be this way, not that I choose to feel this way, nor that I marked my cambridge papers, what makes people think that I did well, cmon, even me, im not satisfied with mine either. Maybe, if I were single yesteryear, I couldve done better. Idk. Ahhh, I cant just fuck my life, I dont even want my life to be fucked. Sigh, sigh, I had enough, I wanted a break up along time ago, one of the reason because so that you could focus on your Os but you insisted. You chose this way. You wanted to spend your time with me like its the end of the world. You just wanted to spend every single bit with me. Its you. And now im to be blamed? This is one of the reason why I hate to be in a relationship, furthermore, im not even committed to it. Youve not texted me the whole day, what dyou expect me to feel? To feel dumped? Hah, I bet youd hope that I felt the same way as you. Oh yeah, maybe I did but a lil. Damn, I wonder how long this sorrow is gona last. I wonder. I still do not understand why you just dont want to let me go. Hate my life, no, I dont hate, I love my life, I love my mom my dad and my siblingz the most. I love everyone. I just hate me being so stupid to be in a relationship at this age. Love is stupid. Is fucking stupid. Hate being so emotional.

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:-#

I do not know what im doing, just knowing what im going thru. I do not know if we are gonna last, things just keep changing my mind, tell me if we are gona last till eternity, i will change, fr th best, i wana be happy with you, stay happy with you, get excited when i see you, i just wana have fun with you, more than just a fun, sometimes, i just felt like we should go back to square one and start all these all over again, and perfect all my mistakes and moves, and be a happy couple, just so yknow, even when we are drifting apart, deep down inside, i still love you, you know that, no matter what happens. I love you baby, <3

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?

I dislike it when i prioritize others than my own family members. Fml.

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a confession

Dont make decisions when youre angry, dont make promises when youre happy. Im not feeling happy nor am i feeling angry but i have a confession to make, I love Aidil Aliff. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

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kingbed

So, idk what am i supposed to do. Its like as though im gg thru another miserable cycle. I really wanna give up in life, in everything, that im gg thru right now.

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Can i kill myself tonight?

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Im speechless, its like a sweet secret suprise, i love it. <3

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I guess i just have to keep things to myself, maybe he just dont love me anymore.

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therapy

I really need a retail therapy. Sigh, life. Maybe it was such a wrong idea of having a partner w you. Your life would really transform into idk what. I just need a day break. From everything anything in th world, i just want to be alone, yeah yknow that feeling. But i guess im feeling way too secured. That feeling when someone is with you, emotionally, physically and mentally, all th time. Whrever you go, youre not alone, yeah that feeling. I really wana be alone, without my phone or anyone else, just me and my cute fluff wallet. Yeah just us.

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Id rather have some other stuff than having a birthday dinz at fullerton.

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...

A major disappointment in my mathematical knowledge. I can do better than this. I can. A mega disappointment in my mom tongue language, i doubt i cant get any better. But i'll try.

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sigh

Damn, fck my fcking rs k. Not because i dont understand myself, i just wont understand you. And it feels like im banned from using twitter yeah. Wheres my freedom of speech, you fcking controlling me and there isnt any need fr anyone to control me. I am me, and be it that i cant change. Coz i believe no one can, just be yourself and your loved ones will love you, and if youre being yourself and your loved one wants you to change, that simply means that they dont love you. And what about my immaturity? Oh well, i can be matured in my own way, and is whether i choose how i wana be like, and about your sacrifices, i appreciate it all, but i dont remember forcing you to help me. And stop ranting about it. It shows that youre not sincere, and i hate it. Damn uhk.

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raya

It feels like im dreaming but im feeling quite excited though inviting my friends over to my crib. Heeeeee, maybe i wasnt ready to face my friends and what theyre gona say about that all in one roof that im currently staying at. Hahhh, im ready nøwww, its my last year w all of them manzcs.

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