Th

lifes like this.

2012-01-13T08:43:00.001+08:00

I dont know how to start this post. Sigh. A total let down though. Os was bad. I did pretty bad. I hate to be blamed at. Cmon, im a human too. Who doesnt? The fact that his mom is still pissed with me, idk if its true. Even if its so, maybe bcoz Im eligible fr poly but his not. Or maybe bcoz of some other stuffs. Idk but hell yeah. I cant accept that. Aunty has been good to me though, just because I ruined her son's future, what? Allah yang mengatur ini semua. Not that I choose my life to be this way, not that I choose to feel this way, nor that I marked my cambridge papers, what makes people think that I did well, cmon, even me, im not satisfied with mine either. Maybe, if I were single yesteryear, I couldve done better. Idk. Ahhh, I cant just fuck my life, I dont even want my life to be fucked. Sigh, sigh, I had enough, I wanted a break up along time ago, one of the reason because so that you could focus on your Os but you insisted. You chose this way. You wanted to spend your time with me like its the end of the world. You just wanted to spend every single bit with me. Its you. And now im to be blamed? This is one of the reason why I hate to be in a relationship, furthermore, im not even committed to it. Youve not texted me the whole day, what dyou expect me to feel? To feel dumped? Hah, I bet youd hope that I felt the same way as you. Oh yeah, maybe I did but a lil. Damn, I wonder how long this sorrow is gona last. I wonder. I still do not understand why you just dont want to let me go. Hate my life, no, I dont hate, I love my life, I love my mom my dad and my siblingz the most. I love everyone. I just hate me being so stupid to be in a relationship at this age. Love is stupid. Is fucking stupid. Hate being so emotional.

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:-#

2011-10-10T13:20:00.001+08:00

I do not know what im doing, just knowing what im going thru. I do not know if we are gonna last, things just keep changing my mind, tell me if we are gona last till eternity, i will change, fr th best, i wana be happy with you, stay happy with you, get excited when i see you, i just wana have fun with you, more than just a fun, sometimes, i just felt like we should go back to square one and start all these all over again, and perfect all my mistakes and moves, and be a happy couple, just so yknow, even when we are drifting apart, deep down inside, i still love you, you know that, no matter what happens. I love you baby, <3

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?

2011-09-29T00:33:00.001+08:00

I dislike it when i prioritize others than my own family members. Fml.

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a confession

2011-09-17T08:47:00.001+08:00

Dont make decisions when youre angry, dont make promises when youre happy. Im not feeling happy nor am i feeling angry but i have a confession to make, I love Aidil Aliff. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

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kingbed

2011-09-16T18:30:00.001+08:00

So, idk what am i supposed to do. Its like as though im gg thru another miserable cycle. I really wanna give up in life, in everything, that im gg thru right now.

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2011-09-10T00:06:00.001+08:00

Can i kill myself tonight?

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2011-09-10T00:05:00.001+08:00

Im speechless, its like a sweet secret suprise, i love it. <3

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2011-09-09T23:07:00.001+08:00

I guess i just have to keep things to myself, maybe he just dont love me anymore.

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therapy

2011-09-07T13:30:00.001+08:00

I really need a retail therapy. Sigh, life. Maybe it was such a wrong idea of having a partner w you. Your life would really transform into idk what. I just need a day break. From everything anything in th world, i just want to be alone, yeah yknow that feeling. But i guess im feeling way too secured. That feeling when someone is with you, emotionally, physically and mentally, all th time. Whrever you go, youre not alone, yeah that feeling. I really wana be alone, without my phone or anyone else, just me and my cute fluff wallet. Yeah just us.

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2011-08-29T13:41:00.001+08:00

Id rather have some other stuff than having a birthday dinz at fullerton.

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...

2011-08-20T18:11:00.001+08:00

A major disappointment in my mathematical knowledge. I can do better than this. I can. A mega disappointment in my mom tongue language, i doubt i cant get any better. But i'll try.

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sigh

2011-08-20T10:22:00.001+08:00

Damn, fck my fcking rs k. Not because i dont understand myself, i just wont understand you. And it feels like im banned from using twitter yeah. Wheres my freedom of speech, you fcking controlling me and there isnt any need fr anyone to control me. I am me, and be it that i cant change. Coz i believe no one can, just be yourself and your loved ones will love you, and if youre being yourself and your loved one wants you to change, that simply means that they dont love you. And what about my immaturity? Oh well, i can be matured in my own way, and is whether i choose how i wana be like, and about your sacrifices, i appreciate it all, but i dont remember forcing you to help me. And stop ranting about it. It shows that youre not sincere, and i hate it. Damn uhk.

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raya

2011-08-19T18:53:00.001+08:00

It feels like im dreaming but im feeling quite excited though inviting my friends over to my crib. Heeeeee, maybe i wasnt ready to face my friends and what theyre gona say about that all in one roof that im currently staying at. Hahhh, im ready nøwww, its my last year w all of them manzcs.

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hearts

2011-08-17T06:45:00.001+08:00

I really wana post something long, like really something long about th journey we've been through, oh well, next post then, im rushing to sch right now, hes waitinn.

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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

2011-08-16T10:33:00.001+08:00

I went over to MrOrange's crib. I still do not believe. Hahahaha, just to peeee. Serious shit, my bladder could burst anytime. Had physics just now, tractable yeah. Xoxo,

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life

2011-08-15T19:04:00.001+08:00

I really dont know what to do. Have I ever told you that I always feel insecure every single time I feel lonely, left out, crestfallen, or pierced words that would come out from your own mouth. I may be dumb, like really dumb in a relationship, but that does not mean that I am dumb in everything I do. Aiyah, sigh. I really give up. But after flashing back those sacrifices you did fr me, I really dont know what to do. Damn. I really need someone to talk to.

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mobile

2011-08-14T14:01:00.001+08:00

Hehehe, omagadz, im posting via mobile. ROCKONNNZ.

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Midst

2011-08-10T08:26:00.003+08:00

Monday, was having a deadening ndp celebration in sch, it went pretty well and everything screwed up when it happens all during interhouse singing competition. Utter boring. I've got no idea why I felt so apathetic. I couldnt start on my revision. Oh hell, is coming in like 2 days time. oh fuggg. Yesterday, #Mrorange dropped by my crib to paint th walls. Had fun painting w lil Sister too. ahhhahaha. awesome day; buka puasa w #Mrorange and lil sister. Cooked Lemak Ayam Chilli Padi in th afternoooooon, syiokkkk. This morning, ate badak berendam (I finally got th real name of th kuih) My Nenek's Badak Berendam = Sexy <3

Photos>> http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150263123304263.339600.743939262&type=1

holyholyholy

2011-08-07T22:48:00.002+08:00

Today, I feel so holy. <3 break fast @Muttaqin. Had a talk with this grandma, Kinda pity her though. Terawih @Omar Salmah- Bukit Brown. National day celeb tmr! Night everybodehh.

No.1

2011-08-06T18:58:00.002+08:00

NDP observance ceremony @ St.Joseph's Convent.

2011-08-05T19:14:00.003+08:00

semangat buka soranggg. hahahhahahhahahhahahhahahahhahahahahhahhahahahhah~

Dissatisfaction

2011-08-04T16:58:00.002+08:00

Alright, this is th third time im blogging, maybe coz im sophisticated? I dont understand why do i have to be fearful of being replaced. omg, I wasnt like this. I dont wanna dissolve in my own tears if he were to depart me. Maybe I should get a life.

obsession.

2011-08-04T15:19:00.002+08:00

Hot green wheels and hot green cars. I want.

2011-08-04T12:22:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I just don't know what to do with my life. I dont even know where i wanna go after O's. Sigh. Mold at home? Poly? Jc? omg, I really dont know what im gonna do fr my tertiary. Was having Geog just now, Manageable though. I really have to pass my prelim with flying colours. Its like my last exam from th sch. I really wanna have clean record and a commendable remarks.

Talking about my life, sometimes, I really wanna forgo my unity. Like what people say, this is th only time where we can enjoy our singlehood life, this chance only come once in your lifetime.

Each argurments makes you closer to your loveones. So, its better to know each other bad side & overcome it. Sooner or later, both of you will get use to it and will start loving and caring for each other. You have to sacrifice if you love that someone so much.

I guess I chose th right person at a wrong timing.

P/s: I just disabled my formspring.

I cant wait fr Korea.

Macadamia

2011-08-03T18:55:00.005+08:00

#MrOrange and Chocolates <3 bought charger just nowwww. SS tomorrow.

2011-08-03T13:16:00.002+08:00

Im feelin so thwarted. Feel like cutting my fringe. sigh.

2011-08-02T21:09:00.012+08:00

Math prelim was tractable. Feeling apprehensive though fr upcoming papers. Nex w Relles Dabab and saw Marcus Tan. Hahhh, right. Break fast @Texas w #MrOrange and Dabab. Off day tomorrow, <3 w love, IzzaF.

2011-08-01T15:41:00.002+08:00

And yesterday Papa gave me 11o. Th whole morning was having religious class. Cabbed down to Al-Mawaddah for Jilsah class. And dinner at Sakura w th Jilsah's girls.

This morning, met #MrOrange, as usual, he will send me off to sch before he head down. Had my most initial English prelim papers, it was manageable though. Anyway, Sweet tenth monthsary Love. <3 xoxo

2011-07-30T21:42:00.004+08:00

So, this morning had been a wearing day. My whole face is so burnt. Feeling so lethargic. Having cramps. First day 'flight' to Afghanistan.

p/s: PRELIM IS COMING YET I HAVE GOT NO SENSE OF URGENCY.

An Interior.

2011-07-29T22:04:00.004+08:00

I want this. Needa save up money fr future house. Well, as usual, today I had sch, NP, #MrOrange and then home. I want a white interior home design, just a white plain walls and sofa and tables and everything. omg. W Love, IzzaF.

2011-07-28T20:27:00.011+08:00

Exactly after Five months, I guess I'll stick to blogger. I needa pull up my socks fr my upcoming exams. omg, stress. and a few more days to monthsary and also th start of fasting month and and and also prelim. omg. I dont believe im starting to blog yea? hahahhaahha hell yea, dont give up dudes out there. studystudystudy. w love, IzzaF.

2011-02-28T01:08:00.002+08:00

Eh, thanks. So, I went to see th doctor, he said there's a hole in my heart. Someone just broke it. I'm still wondering who. Maybe it's you? Idk. But really, thanks. Just keep asking yourself why I kept saying thanks yea. I'm not as dumb as you think I am. Your just another typical sweet talker mother fucker alright. Like serious shit. Yes, retribution. You didnt even bother to reply me but instead to your twitter. Seriously, what th fuck. It's fucking private lah sia k. I just don't want you in my life anymore. You can just fucking go and die seriously. Playing timer with th twitter. Yea, go fuck th wall. I'm just a fucking spooky brat in your life. I should just stay away from you instead. Gtg! End of chapter.

2011-02-25T00:44:00.002+08:00

Hey there, yes, you. Thanks. Thanks a lot for breaking my heart. You said you will try your best not to hurt me, but you did, Like I've said earlier, even before we were attached. Your Love for me would fade one day. It happened didnt it? Your Love for me did fade. I know. Even without you telling me. You just hate me. Dislike me. You dont trust me no more. You dont believe in me no more. You dont have confidence in me no more. Am I right or less right? Then, what's th point of us being in one shoe. Your just waiting fr me to do something, but I tried. And obviously, you wont believe me, It came out from your mouth. I just dont believe you literally said that. You've seen th other side of me, but i guess you've lost your patience in me. c'mon, Its just th trigger and your already showing me your unneeded true colours. What now? You just cant accept th fact that i've changed? Maybe to a more annoying Izza. Idk. You've gotta know that everyone tends to vacillate, so do I? Its like you got a high forecast on me. I abhor it. Really. I doubt you wont relish me if i were to expect a high fore cast on you. Maybe, your just too paranoid. I seriously dont know. It seems like as though you've given up on me. Well, you did. You admitted, you got no more patience in yourself and everyone else including me. I dont know what youve been up to. Maybe, you have another girl in mind whom you might think she could replace me. I dont know what I am to you. Maybe a piece of shit or junk, Seriously, If you do not have feelings for me anymore, you can just say it right infront of my face. You dont have to feel guilty or anything, Im totally fine with it. All this while, is not because I hate you or anything but everytime when you turn into your alter ego, It frightens me. I can leave you if I want. But I cant bear to see you sad, upset, stress but now I do. Go stress all you want. Go fuck th wall. Go do th idiot stuff. Just go and die. I'm fucking angry right now.

2010-12-23T01:27:00.001+08:00

One more kiss could be the best thing

But one more lie could be the worst

And all these thoughts are never resting

And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now

This world falls on me

In this world there's real and make believe

And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am

I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand

And you love me but you don't know who I am

So let me go.

I dream ahead to what I hope for

And I turn my back on loving you

How can this love be a good thing

When I know what I'm goin through

And no matter how hard I try

I can't escape these things inside I know

When all the pieces fall apart

You will be the only one who knows.

2010-09-05T07:32:00.001+08:00

2010-07-08T21:23:00.001+08:00

IM PARANOID.

will be on hiatus.

My Parents Doesnt seem to care whether anot Im having national exams.

2010-07-01T07:31:00.001+08:00

I dont feel your concern or anything. Im feeling scared nervous. Everything:(( Im depressed.

Shall re-blog! Im late for school:|

I want to give up.

2010-06-27T12:46:00.003+08:00

I must learn not to give up easily. Im working on Here W/o You for my beloved squaddies. hehhehehe, surprise babeh!

Love is like a witless game.

2010-06-26T20:46:00.005+08:00

I told my dad I needed this and he gave me another different thing. I always wanted to feel how Love was like until one time I asked you this stupid question. I really didn't know what was in my mind but hell yeah, you did answer me with your shrinking voice. I never thought you would change so fast. It's like you have an alter-ego. You gave me a 'Love letter', I was speechless but thinking about it again, I asked myself, "why not give it a try?" You love me but you don't know who I am. After so long, I gained nothing but being crest-fallen. You gave me everything and I tried to erect this foolish game. And after giving myself a pensive moment, I asked myself, "What the hell am I doing?" And yes, I bawled. I bawled for that preposterous game. I really did. You taught me nothing but a tenderness game. You taught me what 'Love' was all about. You really did. I was always haughty of you, of your abilities. You can do almost everything that I can do. When I got to know your true genuine, I abhorred you. Your nothing but a luscious lecturer. And yeah, thinking what 'Love' was all about again, I can't get over you.

Let The World Unite "Peel Banana, peel, peel, banana!"

2010-06-21T10:21:00.003+08:00

I will be on hiatus, on blog, fb, anything that is related to me via net and th phone. Will be back after O level. Need me really bad? Sorry, after O please. Ciaobaby,

Girls home, again.

2010-06-18T16:13:00.002+08:00

Everyone's in a good mood, and me?

I seriously dont know whats in your mind right now kay, i hate you. I really do. You fucken' spoil my mood every single time. Yes, Im tearing right now. No one understands me. My shirts wet. Thanks alot. Why didnt you just kill me that time? why? I hate that very last sentence that came out from your mouth. "I will kill you." Kill me for all I care. I dont believe you fucking said that. I swear I hate everything of you. Stop acting like a fucking gangster infront of me. I had enough. I had enough of all your nonsense. You said you wanted to change but this is all i get in return? Stop controlling my life. Everyone agreed with me, You should just go to that fucking boys home. The next time, watch out. I hope you'll end your life there. I regret going home. I should have just stick to my old ways. Fuck My Life!

2010-06-17T19:12:00.000+08:00

Er-Izza!

2010-06-16T21:07:00.004+08:00

Meet my hunnehh.

I spent one whole night with her,

she's super Awesome:D

Anyhoo, Y'know,

I had lotsa fun with ya, really alot.

heeeee:] I miss ya.

And, I'll promise I'll keep my mouth shut.

heeeeeee:>

Next time, I'll come down to th studio again,

and party like theres no tomorrow,

After O's, WE SHALL HANG-OUT together with th rest.

Oh and yes, All th best for your Os kayy sayangg,

ghees;/

A Big Fat Lie

2010-06-16T13:35:00.003+08:00

Red

2010-06-16T13:12:00.003+08:00

Marathon, at th studio :D like, finally.

Team didnt get to th final, we did our best anyway. Cheers!

And Pizzahut was Awesome.

I'm not back home yet, miss me?

2010-06-14T04:46:00.000+08:00

2 more treatments and I'm done ! ;]

2010-06-12T22:35:00.002+08:00

I don't know what's wrong with me , seriously . Everythings gone , everything . And yeah , because of a phone , I lost a friend , a special friend . I don't even know whether you bothered to read my posts. Or maybe you do . Thanks a lot dad , I'm not blaming you . I know it's my fault . I know I've done wrong . You gave me all I wanted but I didn't . But you took it all back . Coz I took all those for granted . Maybe I need to be a little independent , right now , i have to depend on myself . I don't even get pocket money . FML . If only this world have a rewind button . I will , I will change . I wouldn't have take things for granted . I want my life back man , give me some space . and Fiq , I'm truly sorry , I know I did upset you for not turning up fr th BBQ , i lied . It's a long story .

I'm Single , Available Yet Lazy To Mingle .

2010-06-11T23:51:00.003+08:00

2010-06-10T22:42:00.002+08:00

Alright , Everyone listen here . My phone got confiscated again and again . Life suck , I know . As soon as I find my spare phone and get a new sim card , I contact you guys as soon as possible yeah . Dont text any of my current numbers . :]

2010-06-08T21:52:00.003+08:00

Your treating me to my old habits . So , your trying to tell me that I can never change ? And stop comparing me with my sisters . I get fucken' annoyed . You want people to make you feel happy and always , but your like thinking all about yourself only , selfish . And now , you want to be my next victim ? Making my life miserable back again . I dont want this . I want to lead a simple life . I dont want my life to be controlled over and over again . Im sick of life .

2010-06-08T11:28:00.002+08:00

I'M STUCK AT HOME . GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ~

2010-06-05T00:24:00.001+08:00

Read . Recite . Pray . Memorise . Imam . Sleeping session . Lunch . Cake . Slack . Quiz . Doughnut .

Those were my spent today .

EFFING FUNNEH , I STILL LOVE YOU HUN .

2010-06-04T23:22:00.000+08:00

15pm

Nur
butch tk menjadi ehh
hmmmm
hmmmm
11:16pmMe
HAHAHAHHA SHHHHH .
memang tk menjady
'my breast too big .
HEH
memang tk menjady
11:17pmNur
hahaha...u shld be thankful laa
ur future husband
mesti suke babe
11:17pmMe
hmm
EWWW
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH
I KNOW I KNOW
BUT EWWWW ,
ceyyy HASANAHH *ehemmm!
11:17pmNur
hahahaha
pls eh...
otak betulkan
hahaha
11:18pmMe
HAHAHAH DAH BTLKANN DAHH ,
HAHAHAHAHAHHAH
11:19pmNur
hahaha
betul ke?//
jantan mana kau suke?
hehehe
11:19pmMe
HEHEHHHE ,
aderhh lahh
BEN 10
^^
11:20pmNur
hahaha
gilerrr
11:20pmMe
HAHHAHAHHAH

2010-06-04T20:57:00.001+08:00

I miss this group of humans ; ayan , kecyk , shehran and obviously Peiming . Whrs my CM badge , I fucken' miss you people like hell .

2010-06-04T19:38:00.004+08:00

I miss my tutor . Thanks for all th help , Without you , maybe I wouldnt have passed Physics with flying colours . I miss ya & I love ya .

and now after so long , like finally , my dad's gonna send me for tuition . Sigh of relief .

I will be on hiatus again .

Bestfriend , you lied .

2010-06-03T21:14:00.003+08:00

She's so HOT . ^^

I MISS ATHENA RIA .

I fucken' needa phone badly . I live without it for one year . Why can't I have it now now now ?! GAAAHHHHH , HATE those fucken' sweet talkers no. 1 outta there . SHOOOO ! wait , no . come back . *hi-5 !

I fucken' need a phone , Dont expect me to use a fucken' prepaid , coz it will be sooooo fucken' troublesome . GAHHHH , buy me a phone . NOW . NOW . NOW . GAHHH , I'm havin two numbers with me right now na ~ na ~ na ~

I wanna eat at A&W . treat mehh treat mehh . Oh yeah , I'm sorry friend for rejecting . Next time , when I get mine , I offer you kay ? :]

I wantta put on green braces . *smile !

Oh and Oh and Oh , I miss a lotta people !

And bestfriend , I want to go Flying Chillies again :/

2010-06-03T20:28:00.004+08:00

No , you can't . Never treat an airplane in th night like shooting stars .

I lost my stamina , I wasted my four years in that stupid cca . I can't do stunts liao . Making me feel fat . I can't even do my favourite back flip . I needa go Gym .

My trademark is still there ;

2010-06-02T21:18:00.001+08:00

Idk if I should go back to LJ , I'm bored .

nifpn.livejournal.com

2010-06-02T20:47:00.000+08:00

You Don't Seem To Love And Care For Us Anymore . Right , Now Get Lost .

2010-06-02T19:58:00.000+08:00

I miss my sec 2 year ;

2010-06-02T19:35:00.002+08:00

You are just so ANNOYING . I wish I don't even have any relationship with you at all . GAHHHHH . And is quite obvious that your doing all this without your own sincerity . Cheesepie ! GAHHHHHHHH . Good thing your leaving tomorrow , all I can say , Have A Fun And Safe Journey ;]

And yeah , Just now was AWESOMELY FUN GILER BABI NYER . Love my Brother To The Maximum . i SWEAR . Now , I can't wait for tomorrow , and gonna sacrifice all my heart ; saving up munehhh , gonna buy this orange bike . ^^

I miss your presence and now , Idk how to pay my visits . Wish you wouldnt have leave that early , sigh .

2010-06-02T19:08:00.001+08:00

OHMYGOSH .

SHE'S LIKE DIGGING EVERY SINGLE THING IN MY CUPBOARD .

HATE THIS TTM .

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ~

Gonna be a long day today .

2010-06-02T08:29:00.003+08:00

My Ustadz called me ' P E L A T ! ' kong ajar kan ! Nyeahahahah , nyways , I miss clubbing w/ both Edoras and Hell yeah , gonna have that programme again till 5pm , sigh . and I swear I hate ppl who think im still a kid , F to th U . And go mind your own business lahh freaks . My kakak is going to FLY OFF tomorrow . And of course I'm gonna sneak out from Singapore somewhere in June with my bestest of the best of friend . Nyeahahhaa . Okay , I feel weird at home now , guess why ? I'm surrounded with guys ; my brothers and dad . All the girls went their own way , you like ? I miss S'goon North . :( I need to P A R T Y lah brother . And thanks a lot AL I Y A H H A N A . and stop calling me ass . Ciaobaby .

Bye May , Hello June .

2010-06-01T21:29:00.001+08:00

Regrets ; What Is Gone , Let It Be Gone .

Hell yeah , thats life . I do things without thinking first , and why ? I seriously not know . Or , is that what others also do ? It's like everything I do , I feel useless . And sometimes , when I wake up , I just keep asking myself , What am I still doing in this world ? I want everything back , in fact , I need them all back . I want th old way and I dont have to go through the pain again , maybe ; I'm just too weak to be taken advantage . I should not have take life for granted . Am not looking forward for tomorrow .

4ooth

2010-05-31T08:33:00.000+08:00

I dreamnt of Torres ,

Nyeahhahaha .

and was finding Lampard .

2010-05-30T22:09:00.004+08:00

I really hate it when you showed me your 'lazy-to-entertain-kinda-text' messages .

Like seriously , you always get into my nerves .

Idk whats with you .

You've changed .

y'know , i want th old you back .

I want th you when I first talked to you .

You really changed .

you should'nt have shared me your problems,

You brought yours to my burden .

[I] [H]ate [Y]ou . shoooo ~

2010-05-30T14:44:00.001+08:00

This is how much you hurt me .

I can never forgive you for that .

This was supposed to be my everything ,

2010-05-30T13:47:00.002+08:00

I miss your text ; and when I don't reply , you always ask me , why quiet .

Amelina Putri

2010-05-30T13:46:00.001+08:00

Firman Putra

2010-05-30T13:29:00.002+08:00

You should just go and find other girls you like .

2010-05-30T11:01:00.002+08:00

I am not here to be controlled . Why should I entertain you 24 - hours ?

I'm not your girlfriend or whattt kay .

Traumatized .

2010-05-28T18:02:00.003+08:00

It's coming to the end of May , and yeah , time fly fast . I guess I wasted a lot of precious time on unnecessary slacks . Yknow , it feels like as though I was born just yesterday . It's like , I know nothing in this world . And the next thing you realised , th world is gonna end .

I hate this traumatizing feelings . I don't know what's in your mind , body but i want th old you . Come back . Stop all those shouting . It made me wanna suicide . Please .

My whole life is drenched . Everything . I don't know . Sometimes , a suicide would be the best answer because of a stupid mistake . Maybe , mistake is just everything .

Now , I realised i can get over it after so long . Losing everything at one go . One after another .

" I ever wanted you to leave . " And now , after you leave , i feel empty . I need you . But I know everyone will leave us one day . And will meet again . Yknow , i miss you . I miss your presence , I miss your hugs , I miss your kisses , I miss your everything . Sometimes , I feel stupid without you . And all this while , you do everything for me for the good . And after all , I do love you .

I want you to move on ;

I miss my cliques .

2010-05-27T20:34:00.003+08:00

June days is the least bond we ever want ,

hugs and kisses ;

351th

2010-05-26T21:12:00.005+08:00

Wish you will go and die , I don't need you in my life .

I hate this traumatizing feeling;

I hate your annoying flirtatious brother .

2010-05-25T17:57:00.000+08:00

I'm sick of falling in love .

2010-05-24T20:55:00.002+08:00

Hell yeah . seriously , cant wait for jamming . and thats th alternative .

sick of love , life , everything .

2010-05-23T23:35:00.003+08:00

Okay , now what ? You spoilt my life , you spoilt everything . You spoilt my mood . Like , seriously . WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU . And , I seriously aint know why , your always th spoilt brat . get your face off me sia . FUCK OFF YOU MOTHER FUCKING ARSEHOLE BITCH , YOU MORON . GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH . What ? your jealous ? like cmon lah . wake up . wake up from your stupid dream land .

2010-05-23T00:03:00.000+08:00

Yknow , i miss ya , th moment I see you lying on th bed , while staring into blank space , I know your having problems . You can't run away from this my dear , I was in your position . I'm doing my best to help you , but your treating me differently . When I see you staring in to blank space , I know your thinking of me , but what can i do ? I know you miss my presence , I miss yours too . I know how you feel . I really do . I know you miss those times with me , coz I do . And yknow why ? I really need your presence right now .

2010-05-22T18:58:00.000+08:00

Oh my gosh , I found this on LJ . I sound so malay ;/

Current Location:
padang bola
Current Mood:
depressed
Current Music:
atas nama cinta-rossa
adakah ini hidup?
mengapa hidupku jadi begini?
asal tidak orang lain?
aku pernah buat salah yang berat ke?
aku tahu bahawa semua orang mesti ada kesalahan tetapi mengapa, mengapa hidupku tidak seperti dahulu?
seumur hidupku, aku tidak pernah merasakan kesepian, aku ada apa yang aku perlukan tetapi semuanya aku kehilangan.
aku rindu semua yang aku pernah memiliki.
aku kehilangan segala-galanya dalam hidupku.
aku ingin segala-galanya kembali.
aku tidak ada rumah.
aku tinggal di tepi jalan yang tidak pernahku alami.
aku kehilangan rumahku yang pernahku tinggal selama sepuluh tahun.
aku cinta sama diriku tetapi aku tidak sanggup tinggal di bumi ini.
kalau boleh, aku ingin melarikan diri, terjun dari tempat yang tinggi setingginya tetapi aku cinta diriku.

Heartbroken; memories.

2010-05-21T21:56:00.003+08:00

When I woke up this morning , I asked myself , " Why am I still breathing ? " Till now , I'm still searching for the answer . My heart is healing , and I've learnt my lesson .

2010-05-21T21:51:00.001+08:00

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I miss ya like hell ♥

2010-05-20T04:38:00.002+08:00

Everything's just so weird, results; didnt meant to fate it like last year;/ Quite bad uhk. Gonna give a full strike for this coming testsxcza. Gonna insert songs to th blog, SOON. I'm freaken' bored.

;Maybe, taking things too seriously

is the worst thing i ever want.

Feels like I'm the happiest girl on earth.

2010-05-17T23:29:00.002+08:00

I am in a serious dilemma, and your right. Yeah, all this while, I wished I could get someone like you, though it's hard to find. That wish really came true. I was happy, excited, confused, wondering, everything. It's like a dream, hmmm, frankly, I'm in love with two, the best thing, one is different from a gender, but still, I love them. Awwwwwwwwwwwww, only pinkberry knows how I feel:) I love her too:->

|_o_;_o_|

2010-04-28T23:26:00.002+08:00

Life has been tough for me, the ups and down story, life seems to repeat the same old mistake. And, hell yeah, readers, I will be on hiatus for a long period of time :]
Feeling useless with everything, almost every single steps i had done. Feeling useless as a sister, I can't react intelligently in a panicking situation. me know. Maybe 'Stupid' is just not the best word to describe, its the hardest word to describe what i am right now. I'm not spoiled neither am I stupid. I just feel so restless. Maybe I just need a break.

Elderly seems to judge people by our looks and the way we dresses up, I don't know why but it's very disturbing. Maybe you are one of those elderly, but it doesn't really concern your future, it's ours. We have our own life, but why do elderly favour unnecessary compliment which sometimes make us feel hurt by the words you spatter out. Maybe it's just me, I don't know.

I met with a broken friendship, after months has gone by, I managed to talk to her. I was speechless, NO, I could not find my voice at that time, I was with Bad though. Getting my friendship even closer without realising that we are getting better. You know, I just don't want to lose my friends, even more, my cliques and NP mates.

And to those taking the 'O' & 'N' Level, ALL THE BEST!:D

Yours Sincerely,
Elle Fiz

You Never Satisfy Me

2010-04-21T21:48:00.001+08:00

and you know how much i miss you.

you can never know.

Maybe it's just pimples.

Stupid Friend

2010-04-19T19:31:00.003+08:00

The only impression I got for you is that,

your a stupid friend.

How I wish, I wouldn't have known you, make friends with you, be happy for you, enjoy life with you, do almost everything for you, treat you nice, and in return, you treat me like a DUST. I wish I could go straight up to your face and say, YOU SUCKS. That's because you really do. It's NOT because I am afraid of you, It's NOT because I am scared of you, It's NOT because I don't dare. But It's because I RESPECT you as a human being, I know you don't need that respect because I know you don't respect others and yourself but I do. Maybe your BLIND. I don't know whats more to say, but you've CHANGE. From BAD to WORSE.

World

2010-04-15T16:36:00.000+08:00

What the fuck is wrong with this humans now a days? Fucking annoying. All they could do was to only fight for their right which doesn't even make any clear sense. What? You've lost your senses? Talking crap with me izint a big deal yknow. I don't mind, but seriously not at the wrong timing. What the fuck is wrong with you people? You think your cool? Oh no, please. In fact, fucking annoyed with the zombies which don't find themselves useful. FML FTW. Stop acting like others when it don't even suit you best, be yourself.

School is filled up with detentions.

2010-04-02T07:24:00.004+08:00

I miss Sports day'09

SA1 coming, whats more, prelim. Time fly really fast, felt like i just finished up my PSLE yesterday, and going to sec1 next year, awesome. My secondary school life's are like a movie. Met a few bunch of retards and yeah, obviously, we will somehow mix around with another bunch of retards coz you know, bestfriends dont last forever. And currently, my biggest distraction is the net, and i am bored right now.

2010-03-30T20:04:00.002+08:00

Alrightzxzx, i shall post like minahs do, siolxzxz. hmmmxzxzx, me am free from cca, and now me will focus on my studies siolxzxz. teehee siolxzxz. kay toodlesxzxzx~ ohmygod, i feel so kental.

In fact, I give up with almost everything.

2010-03-19T21:28:00.001+08:00

Triathlon = trisome

2010-03-14T11:10:00.003+08:00

"its about what you do, not what you say"

What about you being in my position? and yeah, March 13 is finally over. Sigh, awesome enjoyable ever lasting fun we had there. Sports day over, all the fun, OVER. gosh, maybe i should take a break, SA1 around the corner, I dont wanna break down. oh NO, March holidays will be filled up with CCAs and school's favourite. Training, competition, camp, amaths, 'tuition', classes. Basically, my dad canceled our holiday overseas. like uh-huh?

I failed Maths.

2010-02-19T23:52:00.005+08:00

Many happenings happened. Why can't lives be like before; partially. hmm, Common test was like 'haywire', marks dropped like heavy rainfall. Maybe too much of time on net though net's a bore. Past this month, was terribly falling in heart with this retarded gay. hoolabybaby. School was Awesome with cliques, without them, life would not be so entertaining. I got a job. And, basically, I can't wait for March 13.

New Haircut, anyone?

2010-01-30T14:49:00.002+08:00

will be on HIATUS.

It's over now.

2010-01-27T21:29:00.008+08:00

I guess that you're nt my true friend aft all.
Cos if u were, u would spend sme time t call me.
Thanks Izza. Go lead your own life kay?
With your special friends.

I knew this would happen one day,

I'm sorry,

I did want to end this friendship,

thats because, you've changed,

its another you,

your just so different till I can't recognise you no more.

You made yourself rebellious,

I don't want to be a bad influence.

I always thought you could be a better person.

It's hard to explain.

Your unrecognizable.

I like, you the way you are

When we're drivin' in your car
And you're, talkin' to me one on one
But you become

Somebody else
'Round everyone else
Your watchin' your back
Like you can't relax
You tryin' to be cool
You look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're actin' like you're somebody else
Gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break
And you take what you get, and you turn it into
Honestly, you promised me
I'm never gonna find you fake it
No no no

You come over unannounced
Dressed up, like you're somethin' else
Where you are ain't where it's at you see
You're makin' me

Laugh out, when you strike a pose
Take off, all your preppy clothes
You know, you're not foolin' anyone
When you become

Everything's imperfect.

2010-01-24T13:50:00.003+08:00

Boyfriend made me wanna puke.

2010-01-21T19:25:00.003+08:00

Had been annoyed with humans in school lately, like oh my god, man. The teachers there are so bias, like hundred percent, uh! Even the stall owner too. Fuck man. Including co-curriculum too, gosh. What's wrong with life? Suck big time.Yes, I hate the principal too. _|_

Wahhpiang, really like 'LION' sia

2010-01-16T23:05:00.000+08:00

MY DAD WANTS ME TO QUIT NP.

2010-01-16T21:13:00.002+08:00

"So tell me how could I ever be normal somehow"

I'm annoyed. In fact, with everyone. Gosh, What the Fuck alright guys. I got no time to joke around, well, I guess I'm drifting apart with some of you guys. I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I'd upset any of you guys. I'm sorry if i gave a negative response, *scream* every seconds that past I would replay it again and again, the times, we had together, we fought and everything. You chose the wrong person and i hate it when you assume things that I don't even know. Make a difference. Make it original and Make it positive, sometimes, I wanna say "I hate you" but I'm just too afraid.

I miss Mrs. Dolly Chan. :(

2010-01-14T21:32:00.004+08:00

Guess why? I hate my school. It's not being treated like last time. Like WTF? I miss the old rules. In fact, almost everything. GAHHHHH~ That new Principal, I don't wanna say her name, gosh, ever since she's here everything change, like every single thing. Im annoyed, damn annoyed. Well, in fact, Mrs. Chan used to be proud of uni-group but now, eversince that new principal came in, always prioritizes the performing arts and those f. sports, grrrrr. What an unfair F. thing, stupid. I hate the school. grrrr.

You know how much I miss you?

2010-01-08T23:40:00.003+08:00

It's been so long
that I haven't seen your face
I'm Tryna be strong
But the strength I have is washing away
it wont be long before i get you by my side
And just hold you, tease you, squeeze you
Tell you what's been on my mind

I wanna make up right now na na
I wanna make up right now na na
Wish we never broke up right now na na
we need to link up right now na na

I wanna make up right now na na
I wanna make up right now na na
Wish we never broke up right now na na
we need to link up right now na na

Girl I know mistakes were made between us two
And we show our selfs that night even said somethings weren't true
why'd you go and haven't seen my girl since then
why can't it be the way it was
cause you were my homie lover and friend

I wanna make up right now na na
I wanna make up right now na na
Wish we never broke up right now na na
we need to link up right now na na

I wanna make up right now na na
I wanna make love right now na na
Wish we never broke up right now na na
we need to link up right now na na

I can't lie
I miss you much
Watching everyday that goes by
I miss you much
Till i get you back I'm gonna Cry
Yes I miss you much
You are the apple of my eye
Girl I miss you much
I miss you much

I can't lie
I miss you much
Watching everyday that goes by
I miss you much
Tell I get you back I'm gonna Cry
Yes I miss you much
Yes you are the apple of my eye
Girl I miss you much
I miss you much

I wanna make up right now na na
I wanna make up right now na na
Wish we never broke up right now na na
we need to link up right now na na

I wanna make up right now na na
I wanna make up right now na na
Wish we never broke up right now na na
we need to link up right now na na

I want you to fly with me
want you to fly
I miss how you lie with me
miss how you lie
Just wish you could dine with me
wish you could dine
One that would grind with me
One that would grind

I want you to fly with me
want you to fly
I miss how you lie with me
Ohh miss how you lie
Just wish you could dine with me
wish you could dine
One that would grind with me
Ohh One that would grind

I wanna make up right now na na
I wanna make up right now na na
Wish we never broke up right now na na
we need to link up right now na na

I wanna make up right now na na
I wanna make up right now na na
Wish we never broke up right now na na
we need to link up right now na na

The world is just too alien to me. Everyone's like avoiding me, it's like as though they got to know unrealistic stories about me. It just feel so weird. Maybe its just too weird without you on earth? I don't know. She dreamnt him hugging me. Oh my gosh, everything's just so weird. Everyone's acting so different. Sometimes I wish to suicide. But it's just so stupid.